Author(s): Olivia Gordon

Addiction

The Agony of Ecstasy explores the quest of a godless generation to find meaning in a materialistic world. For this 'chemical generation' drugs are becoming a religion; the basis of their moral code. Olivia found herself questioning the ideals of ecstasy culture - ideals of drug induced love, happiness, unity and beauty. This is Olivia's harrowing story of her eighteen-month recovery from an ecstasy-induced depression, during which time she started to rediscover meaning in her life. After a description of the highs - she took her first Ecstasy pill at 17 - Olivia Gordon gives an account of her first euphoric trip, a flashback to early childhood, a sensation of the whole of life flashing before her eyes. There then follows an account of the depression that followed. Included is an account of panic attacks, the experience of coming out of the habit, the sense of religious betrayal, of hell, of the dark side of the E=love=God equation. Here, Olivia Gordon writes a compelling story of her recovery: her return to 'normality' took eighteen months, a passage through many cognitive mechanisms. The book concludes with an afterword by Robbie Williams - who has gone through his own Ecstasy-induced hell - and also by an expert on the biochemical causes and treatments of mental illness following the use of Ecstasy.

About the author:
Olivia Gordon is the daughter of two Oxford Dons - a Professor of Cellular Pathology and a Fellow in English Literature and biographer. She is South African by birth but now lives and works in London.