Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move on -- Together or Apart
|Author:||Douglas K. Snyder, Donala H Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon PhD|
In the aftermath of infidelity, couples often struggle with emotional turmoil and sometimes make decisions they later regret. Getting Past the Affair helps them overcome the initial shock, understand what happened and why, and think clearly about their best interests before they act. Based on the combined insight of leading marital therapists and researchers, this unique program encourages couples and individuals to take things one step at a time, whether they stay together or part ways. Research shows that roughly two-thirds of those who use the approach find it significantly beneficial, making it the only program to have been empirically tested - and proven - to help partners restore trust and rebuild their marriage after an affair. Even in cases where reconciliation is impossible, this compassionate, insightful book emphasizes ways for readers to recover personally and avoid emotional scars so they can pursue healthier relationships in the future. "A worthy and important contribution to understanding and helping couples face one of the worst problems in a marriage."--John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
'Far too many self-help guides patronize the reader, bypassing complexity to offer unrealistic freeways of certainty. This excellent book is a notable exception. Written with clarity, the book treats readers as mature adults. With a wealth of clinical experience, these authors clearly know what they are talking about - they understand the complexity of feelings that need to be addressed to get past an affair, and convey that understanding in accessible language. I am sure this book will be of value to both clients and professionals for many years to come.' - Barry Mason, DSysPsych, Institute of Family Therapy, London, UK
'This book is like a daily 'house call' from your own personal relationship expert. It is a 'must read' for anyone trying to recover from the trauma of an affair and make good decisions about the future.' - Peggy Vaughan, DearPeggy.com, author of The Monogamy Myth 'A book of exceptional wisdom, compassion, and practical advice from a dynamite team of therapists and researchers. I wish every couple who has experienced the trauma of an affair would read this remarkable book.' - William J. Doherty, PhD, author of Take Back Your Marriage
Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, is Professor of Psychology and Director of Clinical Training at Texas A&M University, USA. He received the American Psychological Association's award for Distinguished Contributions to Family Psychology for his research on marital satisfaction and therapy. He has a private practice in College Station, Texas, USA.
Donald H. Baucom, PhD, is Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Director of Clinical Training at the University of North Carolina--Chapel Hill, USA. His research, funded in part by the National Institutes for Health, focuses on couples and marriage. He is ranked as one of the top marital therapists and researchers in the United States.
Kristina Coop Gordon, PhD, is Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Tennessee, USA. Her research focuses on forgiveness, infidelity, and couple therapy. She maintains a private practice in Knoxville, Tennessee, USA.
Introduction. Part I: How Do We Stop Hurting? What's Happening to Us? How Do We Get Through the Day? How Do We Talk with Each Other? How Do We Deal with Others? How Do We Care for Ourselves? Part II: How Did This Happen? Why Stir Everything Up? Was My Marriage to Blame? Was it the World Around Us? How Could My Partner Have Done This? What Was My Role? How Do I Make Sense of it All? Part III: Can This Marriage be Saved? How Do I Get Past the Hurt? Can This Marriage be Saved? What Lies Ahead? Additional Resources.