Author(s): Joan Sauers

Humour

Why go all the way to India when the truth of the universe lies within? Savvy and spoiled, Blossom has been described by her vet as 'high-maintenance', a label she wears with pride. Why shouldn't she be? She deserves it. Through her book, Blossom shares her views on her flatmate ("Sometimes I suspect she doesn't care how she looks around me"), on the world outside ("Birds. They think they're so cool flying between the trees and up in the air"), and on the meaning of life ("Is there anything better than the feel of the sun on your belly? Remember, the sun that shines through your window is the same sun that shines on Tuscany,Tahiti and Provence") Blossom is never politically correct. Blossom also imparts her wisdom about romance. Having had several close encounters with the opposite sex, she tells us when to spray ("only when you know he's interested and has sprayed first") and when not to spray ("Never spray if you're around one of those cats with lopsided facial markings. Asymmetry is the sign of a deviant") Other glimpses of Blossom's life are shown, including an encounter with a "feline the neighbour dragged in"), her thoughts on house guests ("I have mixed feelings about house guests. They disrupt the natural order of things but bring exciting alien smells") and mealtimes ("Never eat out of plastic if you can help it. You deserve better"). Eat, Spray, Love is a book for people who loved Eat, Pray, Love, but who will be amused by its subtle subversion at the hands of a rather plain but proud house cat who believes in keeping her carbon pawprint small and staying at home rather than traipsing around the globe looking for love in all the wrong places. It will also be for all cat lovers who will recognise in Blossom their own spoiled moggies.