My girlfriend is so beautiful that she has never had cause to develop any kind of personality. People are always wildly glad to see her, even though she does little more than sit around and smoke. She's getting prettier, too.
DAN RHODES was born in 1972. He is the author of Don't Tell Me the Truth About Love and Timoleon Vieta Come Home, also published by Canongate. In 2003, he was named by Granta magazine as one of their twenty Best of Young British Novelists.