This work shows that, while it is common to blame others for conflict in relationships, this strategy is not the key to resolving conflicts. It explains how, by understanding the forces that maintain our self-defeating behaviours, we can use those insights to resolve our own issues.
"Beyond Blame explains why so many people seem incapable of settling their disputes. It tells how to quit the blame game. How to resolve controversies. I can't think of anybody who should not read this book." --Robert Coulson, former president, American Arbitration Association
"Provides both encouragement and good advice for changing the way we react to conflict and discovering conflict-resolving behaviors."
"This is a fascinating, intriguing and plausible presentation."
"Helps identify the people who push your buttons, be they friAnds, co-workers, or family."
"Become comfortable in understanding [your] own reactions in conflict situations and become more capable of making certain those reactions are appropriate."
"For anyone who wants to take the responsibility for identifying and resolving conflicts in any type of relationship." --James A. Baker, M.S., Sarasota Memorial Hospital, Sarasota, Florida, American Journal of Health-System Pharmacy
"This well-written book provides a logical approach for anyone interested in applying its ideas to foster strong personal relationships. It may be exceedingly helpful to health care professionals during these times of transition." --James A. Baker, M.S., Sarasota Memorial Hospital, Sarasota, Florida, American Journal of Health-System Pharmacy
JEFFREY A. KOTTLER is professor of counseling and educational psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Kottler is an internationally recognized authority in the area of human relationships, and the author of thirteen books, including the highly acclaimed On Being a Therapist (1993), Compassionate Therapy (1992), and The Compleat Therapist (1991), all from Jossey--Bass.
Introduction: A Personal Journey Through Conflict. Identifying What Sets You Off. Exploring the Origins and Causes of Your Conflicts. Allowing Yourself the Discomfort. Taking Responsibility Without Blaming. Committing Yourself to Act Differently. Experimenting with Alternative Strategies. The Positive Functions of Conflict. Conflicts in Love. Conflicts at Work. When Conflicts Can't Be Resolved.