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  1. Relationships
  2. Difficult & Abusive Relationships

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Relationships > Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Large 9781501129612

Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner

$39.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Communication

"If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won't You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer."--Bren Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

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Large 9780688140717

Trapped in the Mirror: Adult children of narcissists in their struggle for self by Claire Golomb

$39.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Personality Disorders

In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist - offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters - share a common belief: They bel ieve they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feelstress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongswhy do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting how anger must be acknowledge to be overcomeand, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed. Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions. ...Show more

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Large 9780425265109

Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? : Encouragement for Women Involved With Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships | Series: Why Does He Do That? Ser.

Lundy Bancroft expands on his bestseller Why Does He Do That? in this daily guide that empowers women who are suffering in abusive relationships. Even if you've read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns. What you need is something that is there for you every day-to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one. Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use toalearn how to value and respect yourself-even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not. With seven themes designed to encourage and inspire, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? will help youadigest what is happening one day at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom. You will see the truth in your destructive relationship. You and your children will survive. And-with these encouragements-even tomorrow will be a better day than today. ...Show more

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Large 9781509848751

Look What You Made Me Do - A Powerful Memoir of Coercive Control by Helen Walmsley-Johnson

$25.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Biography & Memoir

"Coercive control may have recently been made llegal in Britain, but not many women dare to open up about it. Helen Walmsley-Johson is an exception" The Times Not all abuse leaves a mark - a powerful memoir of coercive control Helen's first husband controlled her life, from the people she saw to what wa s in her bank account. He alienated her from friends and family and even from their three daughters. Eventually, he threw her out and she painfully began to rebuild her life.Then, divorced and in her early forties, she met Franc. Kind, charming, considerate Franc. For ten years she would be in his thrall, even when he too was telling her what to wear, what to eat, even what to think. Look What You Made Me Do is her candid and utterly gripping memoir of how she was trapped by a smiling abuser, not once but twice. It is a vital guide to recognising, understanding and surviving this sinister form of abuse and its often terrible legacy. It is also an inspirational account of how one woman found the courage to walk away. ...Show more

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Large 9780718141776

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum

$31.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1
On Order:
1

Category: Couples

Most relationships go through difficult times, and this text is aimed at those who are trying to make a decision about where their relationship is going. Drawing on her years of experience as a counsellor, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum uses a series of straightforward questions that will enable the r eader to diagnose problems. The only commitment the reader has to make is to be honest. ...Show more

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Large 9780349427911

Escaping Emotional Abuse - Healing from the Shame You Don't Deserve by Beverly Engel

$39.00 NZD

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On Order:
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Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

The world-renowned therapist and author of the groundbreaking self-help classic, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, delves into the most destructive and powerful weapon of the abuser: shame. And reveals its most powerful antidote... In The Emotionally Abused Woman, therapist Beverly Engel introduced the concept of emotional abuse, one of the most subtle, yet devastating forms of abuse within a relationship. Now Engel exposes the most destructive technique the abuser uses to break our spirit and gain control--and guides readers on how to free themselves from the shame that can keep them from the life (and the love) they deserve. Emotionally abused people are gradually stripped of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity--making them feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But they possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps readers jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help heal, regain self-confidence--and ultimately become empowered enough to leave--for good. An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships. ...Show more

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Large 9780393328639

Body Never Lies by Alice Miller; Andrew Jenkins

$45.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Trauma

An examination of childhood trauma and its surreptitious, debilitating effects by one of the world's leading psychoanalysts. Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patie nts along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness--be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical childrearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. In this empowering work, writes Rutgers professor Philip Greven, "readers will learn how to confront the overt and covert traumas of their own childhoods with the enlightened guidance of Alice Miller." ...Show more

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Large 9781925682496

Stalked: the Human Target - Stories of People Pursued by Stalkers and the Devastating Effects on Their Lives by Rachel Cassidy

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Stalked is a detailed account of the effects of stalking, which is experienced by a shockingly high proportion of the population. Celebrities like David Letterman and Madonna are the highest profile targets of stalkers, but ordinary people are also targeted, harassed and bullied. Rachel Cassidy, hersel f the target of a stalker, tells the stories of people who have been pursued by stalkers and the devastating effects that has had on their lives. To an outsider, the stalker's actions may appear to be minor indiscretions, but the unwanted constant attention, relentless harassment, and utter terror of being a human target can have chilling cumulative effects. Sometimes the stalker's behavior becomes violent. Dancing with the Stars judge Mark Wilson had two dancing schools burned to the ground and his career destroyed. The man who stalked Jodie Foster attempted to assassinate President Reagan to gain her attention. With the assistance of forensic psychologists who have worked with stalkers and their targets, and lawyers and police who have represented and protected the people pursued, the author explores the psychopathology of stalkers, surveys the laws that deal with stalking behaviors, and looks at cyberstalking. In the final section, Cassidy discusses how to survive a stalker and build a new life of achievement and hope. Stalked is a perceptive analysis of stalking from the inside--told by the targets, the stalkers, and the experts who deal with the havoc wreaked by the people who harass or persecute others with unwanted and obsessive attention. ...Show more

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Large 9781616495336

Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You by Darlene Lancer

$27.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Self-Esteem/Confidence

A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you fee l when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships--where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another--often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships. ...Show more

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Large 9781440504631

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans

$37.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0
On Order:
1

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.   In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.   Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.   This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time ...Show more

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Large 9781526613202

In Control by Jane Monckton-Smith

$33.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0
On Order:
5

Category: Feminism

In the UK, every week three women are killed by their partners. Over half the women killed by men are killed by a current or ex-partner. On average domestic abuse victims are assaulted 68 times before calling the police.There is a domestic violence epidemic happening right now, yet as a society we still turn a blind eye to it. In a culture that has normalised misogyny, we determinedly cling to the belief that domestic violence is a private matter in which both parties bear some responsibility. Even our legal system legitimises the idea that people who hurt or kill their partners have snapped and lost control, committed a 'crime of passion'. But domestic violence has a clear pattern. Jealousy. Controlling behaviour. Stalking. Verbal abuse. A history of violence. Specialising in homicide, stalking and coercive control, internationally renowned forensic criminologist and former police officer Jane Monckton-Smith has spent decades researching domestic violence cases that have ended in homicide. From her research she developed an 8-stage timeline which has revolutionised the approach to predicting homicide in domestic abuse cases. Part case study, part social commentary and part memoir of a woman dealing with domestic homicide, In Control shows that there are clear signs when a relationship is about to turn violent we've just been trained not to see them. ...Show more

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Large 9781635574388

The Apology by Eve Ensler

$40.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Feminism

From Eve Ensler, author of one of the most influential works of the twentieth century--The Vagina Monologues--and one of Newsweek's "150 Women Who Changed the World," comes a powerful, life-changing examination of abuse and atonement. Like millions of women, Eve Ensler has been waiting much of her lifet ime for an apology. Sexually and physically abused by her father, Eve has struggled her whole life from this betrayal, longing for an honest reckoning from a man who is long dead. After years of work as an anti-violence activist, she decided she would wait no longer; an apology could be imagined, by her, for her, to her. The Apology, written by Eve from her father's point of view in the words she longed to hear, attempts to transform the abuse she suffered with unflinching truthfulness, compassion, and an expansive vision for the future. Through The Apology Eve has set out to provide a new way for herself and a possible road for others, so that survivors of abuse may finally envision how to be free. She grapples with questions she has sought answers to since she first realized the impact of her father's abuse on her life: How do we offer a doorway rather than a locked cell? How do we move from humiliation to revelation, from curtailing behavior to changing it, from condemning perpetrators to calling them to reckoning? What will it take for abusers to genuinely apologize? Remarkable and original, The Apology is an acutely transformational look at how, from the wounds of sexual abuse, we can begin to re-emerge and heal. It is revolutionary, asking everything of each of us: courage, honesty, and forgiveness. ...Show more

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