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  1. Relationships
  2. Difficult & Abusive Relationships

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Relationships > Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Large 9780718141776

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum

$31.00 NZD

Available Stock:
2

Category: Couples

Most relationships go through difficult times, and this text is aimed at those who are trying to make a decision about where their relationship is going. Drawing on her years of experience as a counsellor, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum uses a series of straightforward questions that will enable the r eader to diagnose problems. The only commitment the reader has to make is to be honest. ...Show more

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Large 9781501129612

Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner

$39.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Communication

"If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won't You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer."--Bren Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

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Large 9780688140717

Trapped in the Mirror: Adult children of narcissists in their struggle for self by Claire Golomb

$39.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Personality Disorders

In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist - offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters - share a common belief: They bel ieve they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feelstress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongswhy do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting how anger must be acknowledge to be overcomeand, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed. Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions. ...Show more

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Large 9781440504631

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans

$37.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.   In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.   Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.   This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time ...Show more

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Large 9780425265109

Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? : Encouragement for Women Involved With Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships | Series: Why Does He Do That? Ser.

Lundy Bancroft expands on his bestseller Why Does He Do That? in this daily guide that empowers women who are suffering in abusive relationships. Even if you've read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns. What you need is something that is there for you every day-to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one. Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use toalearn how to value and respect yourself-even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not. With seven themes designed to encourage and inspire, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? will help youadigest what is happening one day at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom. You will see the truth in your destructive relationship. You and your children will survive. And-with these encouragements-even tomorrow will be a better day than today. ...Show more

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Large 9781684034208

Children of the Self Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents (3rd Ed) by Nina W Brown

$43.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Personality Disorders

Do you have a self-absorbed or narcissistic parent who's made you feel rejected, unloved, or unworthy? Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asser ting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This fully revised and updated edition of a self-help classic offers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent. Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on your relationships. Packed with proven techniques, you'll realize that you're not helpless against your parent's behavior, and that you don't have to give up on the relationship. Instead, you'll find realistic strategies and steps for setting up mutually agreed upon behaviors, so you can fulfill your own emotional needs. In this new edition, you'll discover: Skills for managing intense emotions Tools for building character, self-esteem, and self-acceptance How kindness and gratitude can promote self-healing How to build trust and empathy with others ...Show more

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Large 9780731800315

People Skills : How to Assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by Robert Bolton

$37.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Communication

A communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate a wide range of communication problems. It describes the 12 most common communication barriers, showing how these 'roadblocks' damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness or dependency;and presents effective skills of liste ning, asserting yourself, resolving conflicts and working out problems with others. Your family can become closer, your friendships warmer, and your work relationships more productive. ...Show more

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Large 9780140275186

Invisible Wounds: a Self-help Guide for New Zealand Women in Destructive Relationships by Kay Douglas

$30.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

This compassionate and practical self-help guide has helped thousands of New Zealand women to identify verbal and emotional abuse in destructive relationships, and to make changes. This is one of the first books written for women suffering from emotional abuse rather than physical abuse at the hands of their male partners. This book contains dozens of case studies and many exercises designed to help women recognise, conquer and recover from the effects of emotional abuse. It provides insights into how relationships become destructive, and offers encouragement and practical help in enabling women to make positive changes in their lives. With powerful interviews from 50 women Invisible Wounds: Puts into words the confusion and distress of emotional abuse; Explores the impact of emotional abuse on women and children; Offers practical suggestions about how to address the issue of partner abuse; Discusses why women stay; Offers self-reflections questions to help readers make a decision about whether to stay or go; Addresses the healing process after a desctructive relationship ends.   First published 1994; revised edition 1998; this edition 2008. ...Show more

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Large 9781925682496

Stalked: the Human Target - Stories of People Pursued by Stalkers and the Devastating Effects on Their Lives by Rachel Cassidy

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Stalked is a detailed account of the effects of stalking, which is experienced by a shockingly high proportion of the population. Celebrities like David Letterman and Madonna are the highest profile targets of stalkers, but ordinary people are also targeted, harassed and bullied. Rachel Cassidy, hersel f the target of a stalker, tells the stories of people who have been pursued by stalkers and the devastating effects that has had on their lives. To an outsider, the stalker's actions may appear to be minor indiscretions, but the unwanted constant attention, relentless harassment, and utter terror of being a human target can have chilling cumulative effects. Sometimes the stalker's behavior becomes violent. Dancing with the Stars judge Mark Wilson had two dancing schools burned to the ground and his career destroyed. The man who stalked Jodie Foster attempted to assassinate President Reagan to gain her attention. With the assistance of forensic psychologists who have worked with stalkers and their targets, and lawyers and police who have represented and protected the people pursued, the author explores the psychopathology of stalkers, surveys the laws that deal with stalking behaviors, and looks at cyberstalking. In the final section, Cassidy discusses how to survive a stalker and build a new life of achievement and hope. Stalked is a perceptive analysis of stalking from the inside--told by the targets, the stalkers, and the experts who deal with the havoc wreaked by the people who harass or persecute others with unwanted and obsessive attention. ...Show more

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Large 9780393328639

Body Never Lies by Alice Miller; Andrew Jenkins

$45.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Trauma

An examination of childhood trauma and its surreptitious, debilitating effects by one of the world's leading psychoanalysts. Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patie nts along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness--be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical childrearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. In this empowering work, writes Rutgers professor Philip Greven, "readers will learn how to confront the overt and covert traumas of their own childhoods with the enlightened guidance of Alice Miller." ...Show more

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Large 9781616495336

Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You by Darlene Lancer

$27.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Self-Esteem/Confidence

A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you fee l when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships--where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another--often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships. ...Show more

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Large 9781635574388

The Apology by Eve Ensler

$40.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Feminism

From Eve Ensler, author of one of the most influential works of the twentieth century--The Vagina Monologues--and one of Newsweek's "150 Women Who Changed the World," comes a powerful, life-changing examination of abuse and atonement. Like millions of women, Eve Ensler has been waiting much of her lifet ime for an apology. Sexually and physically abused by her father, Eve has struggled her whole life from this betrayal, longing for an honest reckoning from a man who is long dead. After years of work as an anti-violence activist, she decided she would wait no longer; an apology could be imagined, by her, for her, to her. The Apology, written by Eve from her father's point of view in the words she longed to hear, attempts to transform the abuse she suffered with unflinching truthfulness, compassion, and an expansive vision for the future. Through The Apology Eve has set out to provide a new way for herself and a possible road for others, so that survivors of abuse may finally envision how to be free. She grapples with questions she has sought answers to since she first realized the impact of her father's abuse on her life: How do we offer a doorway rather than a locked cell? How do we move from humiliation to revelation, from curtailing behavior to changing it, from condemning perpetrators to calling them to reckoning? What will it take for abusers to genuinely apologize? Remarkable and original, The Apology is an acutely transformational look at how, from the wounds of sexual abuse, we can begin to re-emerge and heal. It is revolutionary, asking everything of each of us: courage, honesty, and forgiveness. ...Show more

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