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  1. Relationships
  2. Difficult & Abusive Relationships

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Relationships > Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Large_9781635574388

The Apology by Eve Ensler

$40.00 NZD

Available Stock:
6

Category: Feminism/Women's Studies

From Eve Ensler, author of one of the most influential works of the twentieth century--The Vagina Monologues--and one of Newsweek's "150 Women Who Changed the World," comes a powerful, life-changing examination of abuse and atonement. Like millions of women, Eve Ensler has been waiting much of her lifet ime for an apology. Sexually and physically abused by her father, Eve has struggled her whole life from this betrayal, longing for an honest reckoning from a man who is long dead. After years of work as an anti-violence activist, she decided she would wait no longer; an apology could be imagined, by her, for her, to her. The Apology, written by Eve from her father's point of view in the words she longed to hear, attempts to transform the abuse she suffered with unflinching truthfulness, compassion, and an expansive vision for the future. Through The Apology Eve has set out to provide a new way for herself and a possible road for others, so that survivors of abuse may finally envision how to be free. She grapples with questions she has sought answers to since she first realized the impact of her father's abuse on her life: How do we offer a doorway rather than a locked cell? How do we move from humiliation to revelation, from curtailing behavior to changing it, from condemning perpetrators to calling them to reckoning? What will it take for abusers to genuinely apologize? Remarkable and original, The Apology is an acutely transformational look at how, from the wounds of sexual abuse, we can begin to re-emerge and heal. It is revolutionary, asking everything of each of us: courage, honesty, and forgiveness. ...Show more

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Large_9780425265109

Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? : Encouragement for Women Involved With Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
2

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships | Series: Why Does He Do That? Ser.

Lundy Bancroft expands on his bestseller Why Does He Do That? in this daily guide that empowers women who are suffering in abusive relationships. Even if you've read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns. What you need is something that is there for you every day-to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one. Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use toalearn how to value and respect yourself-even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not. With seven themes designed to encourage and inspire, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? will help youadigest what is happening one day at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom. You will see the truth in your destructive relationship. You and your children will survive. And-with these encouragements-even tomorrow will be a better day than today. ...Show more

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Large_verbally_abusive_9781440504631

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans

$37.00 NZD

Available Stock:
1

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.   In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.   Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.   This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time ...Show more

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Invisible Wounds: a Self-help Guide for New Zealand Women in Destructive Relationships by Kay Douglas

$30.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

This compassionate and practical self-help guide has helped thousands of New Zealand women to identify verbal and emotional abuse in destructive relationships, and to make changes. This is one of the first books written for women suffering from emotional abuse rather than physical abuse at the hands of their male partners. This book contains dozens of case studies and many exercises designed to help women recognise, conquer and recover from the effects of emotional abuse. It provides insights into how relationships become destructive, and offers encouragement and practical help in enabling women to make positive changes in their lives. With powerful interviews from 50 women Invisible Wounds: Puts into words the confusion and distress of emotional abuse; Explores the impact of emotional abuse on women and children; Offers practical suggestions about how to address the issue of partner abuse; Discusses why women stay; Offers self-reflections questions to help readers make a decision about whether to stay or go; Addresses the healing process after a desctructive relationship ends.   First published 1994; revised edition 1998; this edition 2008. ...Show more

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Large_9780731800315

People Skills : How to Assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by Robert Bolton

$37.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Communication

A communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate a wide range of communication problems. It describes the 12 most common communication barriers, showing how these 'roadblocks' damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness or dependency;and presents effective skills of liste ning, asserting yourself, resolving conflicts and working out problems with others. Your family can become closer, your friendships warmer, and your work relationships more productive. ...Show more

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Large_9780393708462

8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness by Andrea Brandt

$36.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Many people often say "yes" to something when they'd rather say "no." They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel--in actions that contradict their words. That's passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossi ble to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn't make someone "bad." It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here. The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves. ...Show more

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Large_9780241299005

The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt by Robert I. Sutton

$24.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Self-Esteem/Confidence

From the international bestselling expert on dealing with assholes Being around assholes, whether at work or elsewhere, can damage performance and affect wellbeing: having one asshole in a team has been shown to reduce performance by 30 to 40%, and research shows that rudeness spreads like a common col d. In The Asshole Survival Guide, Stanford professor Robert Sutton offers practical advice on identifying and tackling any kind of asshole - based on research into groups from uncivil civil servants to French bus drivers, and 8,000 emails that he has received on asshole behaviour. With expertise and humour, he provides a cogent and methodical game-plan to fight back. First, he sets out the asshole audit, to find out what kind of asshole needs dealing with, and asshole detection strategies. Then he reveals field-tested, sometimes surprising techniques, from asshole avoidance and asshole taxes, to mind-tricks and the art of love bombing. Finally, he explains the dangers of asshole blindness - when the problem might be yours truly. Readers will learn how to handle assholes - in the workplace and beyond - once and for all! ...Show more

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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step by Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum

$31.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Couples

Most relationships go through difficult times, and this text is aimed at those who are trying to make a decision about where their relationship is going. Drawing on her years of experience as a counsellor, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum uses a series of straightforward questions that will enable the r eader to diagnose problems. The only commitment the reader has to make is to be honest. ...Show more

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Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships by Kelly McDaniel

$37.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

No woman dreams of becoming a nymphomaniac. Many women are puzzled why they continually struggle with unmanageable behavior when it comes to sex and love. Shame settles in and refuses to leave. But there is hope and a way out of this shame. As you begin to understand the nature of love and sex addiction -how it forms in infancy and how culturally you've been set up for it - shame diminishes, and your spirit is freed up for healing. Are you ready to heal? Ready to Heal can help you if you're struggling in a relationship with a sex addict, facing your own sex addiction, obsessing about someone who doesn't want you, or if you're looking for deeper understanding of your romantic patterns. At its core, love and sex addiction is a longing for intimacy. Since love, connection, and sexual intimacy are basic human needs, healing addictive relationships prepares you to give and receive love in healthy ways. Part of being ready to heal is having faith that although you don't know what will happen, you are prepared to move forward on the journey. By following the stories of four brave women, you will discover how to break free from painful addictive relationships. A chapter onmother hunger explores the role of your mother in your infancy. Think about it. Your relationship with your mother was the earliest foundation for how you formulated a sense of yourself and how you understand relationships. Your mother's love or lack of it became imprinted on your developing brain. It even continues to direct your relational choices today. Your first experience with love and trust was with your mother's touch, voice, and body. In her arms, early on you formed a belief about whether or not you were loveable. Early experiences with your mother are stored in your body. In turn, they lay the groundwork for addictive relationship patterns. Author Kelly McDaniel shows why exploringmother hunger is necessary to heal from addictive relationships and what it takes to form healthy intimate relationships. Are you ready to heal? Kelly McDaniel, MA, LPC, NCC, CSAT, is a licensed professional counselor and a sex addiction therapist in private practice in San Antonio, Texas. ...Show more

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Large_9781877378508

Helen: The Helen Meads Tragedy by David White

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: NZ Biographies

On the morning of 23 September 2009 Helen Meads was murdered by her husband Greg at the stables on their Matamata farm. It was the final chapter in years of control and abuse. Here, Helen's father David White describes the events of that day, and what led to it, and tells of the ordeals that a family is subjected to when one of their own is murdered. It is a poignant and compelling story. There are issues of custody, access and bail, and looming court appearances. And often, as in this case, there is the killer's family to deal with. Finally, there is also the bureaucracy and the media that have to be faced and accepted as inevitable intrusions on the private lives of the victim's families. Families who would prefer to be left alone to grieve. Now that the trial and sentencing have been completed, much more can be told. ...Show more

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Large_9781925682496

Stalked: the Human Target - Stories of People Pursued by Stalkers and the Devastating Effects on Their Lives by Rachel Cassidy

$35.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

Stalked is a detailed account of the effects of stalking, which is experienced by a shockingly high proportion of the population. Celebrities like David Letterman and Madonna are the highest profile targets of stalkers, but ordinary people are also targeted, harassed and bullied. Rachel Cassidy, hersel f the target of a stalker, tells the stories of people who have been pursued by stalkers and the devastating effects that has had on their lives. To an outsider, the stalker's actions may appear to be minor indiscretions, but the unwanted constant attention, relentless harassment, and utter terror of being a human target can have chilling cumulative effects. Sometimes the stalker's behavior becomes violent. Dancing with the Stars judge Mark Wilson had two dancing schools burned to the ground and his career destroyed. The man who stalked Jodie Foster attempted to assassinate President Reagan to gain her attention. With the assistance of forensic psychologists who have worked with stalkers and their targets, and lawyers and police who have represented and protected the people pursued, the author explores the psychopathology of stalkers, surveys the laws that deal with stalking behaviors, and looks at cyberstalking. In the final section, Cassidy discusses how to survive a stalker and build a new life of achievement and hope. Stalked is a perceptive analysis of stalking from the inside--told by the targets, the stalkers, and the experts who deal with the havoc wreaked by the people who harass or persecute others with unwanted and obsessive attention. ...Show more

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Large_9781683508670

The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap by Ross Rosenberg

$40.00 NZD

Available Stock:
0

Category: Difficult & Abusive Relationships

The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap is a complete rewrite of Ross's first book. Not only is the book re-written, re-organized, updated and expanded, it contains over 125 more pages than the original. Ross provides a more explicit rendering of The Human Magnet Syndrome, that includ es new theories, explanations and concepts. The information on Gaslighting and The Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, like the rest of the book, is cutting edge and completely original. This book contains many more case examples and stories of Ross's own codependency recovery. Like its predecessor, it is written for both the layman and professional. Men and women have been magnetically and irresistibly drawn together into romantic relationships, not so much by what they see, feel and think, but more by invisible forces. Codependents and Pathological Narcissists are enveloped in a seductive dreamlike state; however, it will later unfold into a painful "seesaw" of love, pain, hope and disappointment. The soul mate of the codependent's dreams will become the narcissist of their nightmares. Readers of the Human Magnet Syndrome will better understand why they, despite their dreams for true love, find themselves hopelessly and painfully in love with partners who hurt them. This book will guide and inspire both the layman and the professional. ...Show more

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